


Meet the (Smartarse) Family

by orphan_account



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, Spider-Man (Movieverse), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: AU - Tony and Loki are Peter's biological family, Domestic Avengers, F/M, M/M, Smartarse family, Smartass Family, because that's how you spell it properly, unless you have a family of very intellgent donkeys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-11-17 04:23:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen would quite like to meet Peter’s rather mysterious parents</p><p>  <i>“I’ll be on my best behaviour,” Gwen saluted.</i><br/><i>Peter chuckled, “It’s defiantly not you I’m concerted about.”</i><br/><i>She pouted, “They can’t be as bad as my dad surely?”</i><br/><i>“Oh they defiantly can.”</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning of my first SmartArse/Ass Family fic, any pointers on characterisation would be appreciated. Now beta'd by the wonderful [everfascinated](http://everfascinated.tumblr.com/). Any mistakes left are mine.

“Uh, Dad…”

Tony Stark (Billionaire, Ex-playboy, Philanthropist) looked up from the blueprints he was working on to his son standing on the middle of the largest floor of the R&D labs.

“Yes, Peaty-Pie?” he crooned in a sickly-sweet voice he’d perfected over the years of tormenting people.

“Well, I was wondering…” Peter started (immune to his dad’s ways now) and paused, trying to think about how to broach the subject of bringing his girlfriend to meet his Defiantly Not Conventional Parents. He tried again, “Well, you know my girlfriend, Gwen?”

Tony raised his eyebrows over his work goggles. “The one you have yet to introduce us to?”

“Yes and, well, it’s about that.”

“You mean she doesn’t want to meet us?” Tony said mock disbelievingly “How can any self-respecting girl not want to meet the great Tony Stark?”

Peter shook his head. “Jeez Dad, and please, self flattery never wore well on you.”

“On the contrary, young one,” his dad sniffed. “It has served me well, you should have seen the looks Fury and Steve used to give me, absolutely priceless. 'The Evil Eye' I used to call the ones from Fury,” he chuckled to himself.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Anyway back to the subject? Gwen would actually like to meet you. A lot.” He paused again, “But, well, I haven’t told her anything about y’know, Mum”

Tony grinned gleefully. “Oh, I want to be there when you tell her.”

“It’s okay then?” he said a little surprised.

“It’s fine with me, Peter. To be honest I think your girlfriend has the right. You know, there is probably some law about long term girls friends meeting parents; just make sure she’s not seducing you for the information, had a few of those in my time I can tell you,” he adjusted something on the lab bench. “You’ll obviously have to ask Loki, It’s his final decision you know.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Hey, speak of the devil!” Tony’s gaze slipped over Peter’s shoulder, who turned to find Loki walking down the stairs.

“Is there a reason we’re all huddled in R&D?” questioned the Norse God drawing close to them.

Tony pulled a face. “I feel ten floors of R&D is a big large to _huddle_ in,” he quipped as Loki came and stood behind him, hands on his shoulders. “Anyway, Peter has a question for you.”

“Oh? If it’s about infusing your skateboard with magic with to ‘make it go faster’ the answer is still no.”

“Aw, but you did it with Dad’s suit.”

“Your Father’s was for work, yours is recreational _and_ you have the means yourself it make it go as fast as you like.”

Peter muttered about _butmagicissomuchquickerandwhycouldn’tIinhertsome_ _._

“That’s your father’s mortal blood for you.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Tony shot in before the conversation could focus on his faults. “That wasn’t the question.”

“Oh yeah, well, my girlfriend Gwen would like to meet both of you and she knows about Dad and who he is but I’ve not said anything about you. I was wondering if it would be okay if she knew. I mean, if it was okay.”

Loki tapped a finger to his lips in thought. “You’re sure she’s not seducing you for information?”

“Already asked,” Tony chuckled.

“By my count you’ve been going out for what six months now? I suppose if she were a spy she’d had given up a while go.”

“My reasoning too,” nodded Tony.

“If I’m honest it’s very rude of you Peter not to have asked sooner” Loki smirked.

Peter laughed. “It’s a yes?”

“It’s a yes.”

“Thanks, Mum” he said and grinned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the tiny chapter, next one is much longer.

They took the lift up to the top floors of StarkTower. Gwen was in a pretty floral print dress that earned a kiss for Peter when he complimented it.

Gwen knew that he had a Mum and that ‘she’ lived with Tony. Obviously, the part she didn’t know was the Norse-God-who-can-change-genders-and-gave-birth-to-him bit.

Peter had been thinking about telling Gwen about this before they got to the top floors but he could just hear himself, _Yeah_ _,_ _I have Tony Stark as my Dad, who's my mum you ask? Oh_ _,_ _you know_ _,_ _just Loki Laufeyson_ _. Y_ _es_ _,_ that _Loki Laufeyson_ _,_ _former Price of Asguard and God of Mischief._ He’d sound like a complete lunatic.

But now, riding up in the lift he felt like he should warm her.

“Gwen there’s something you need to know about my Mum-” Gwen stopped him mid-sentence with a finger to his lips.

“It’s all fine Peter, I’m sure she’s lovely.” She laced their fingers together, “It’ll be fine.”

“I hope you’re sure,” Peter muttered as the doors opened into the large living room/hall/place where Tony occasionally worked when Loki made him see the sun, if only through the windows.

“Ah, Peter! Here in time, your Mum’s got dinner ready in 15 minutes. I hope you’re both ready,” Tony said as he strode over to them. “And you must be the lovely, Miss Gwen Stacy,” He offered a hand.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark,” she replied, taking his hand.

“Oh, no need for formality. Just Tony is fine for a pretty young lady like you.”

“Dad!”

Tony sighed. “Peter, you’re such a killjoy. Lighten up, kid.” He laughed and slapped him in the shoulder. “Anyway, supper’s through here. Loki would love to meet you.”

The two teenagers followed Tony through to the again large, open-plan kitchen.

With a very male Loki at the stove.

He looked up as they came in.

“Gwen this in Loki Laufeyson, my mum. Mum this is Gwen Stacy, my girlfriend.” Peter introduced them.

“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name,” Loki said as he came over, wiping his hand on the plain apron he wore before taking Gwen’s hand and shaking it

“It’s nice to finally have a name and a face,” Gwen countered and smiled.

Loki chuckled. “Likewise. I hope you like fish, we’ve got salmon for supper.”


End file.
